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.’‘I’m not leaving the children yet.I promised to come back to you, but I didn’t say when.I'm staying till Mr Scott arrives to take Barry and Tasmin—if Philippe wants me to stay, that is,’ she thought to add.She would not be surprised if he told her to leave immediately, as there was always Meri and Rima who could take care of the children for a short while.She had mentioned the two girls to Don and it was no surprise to her to hear him say,‘There are the two maids who can have the kids.’‘I’m their nanny.I’ll leave when Philippe tells me to.’He was about to say something when the waiter came up.Don ordered whisky, then looked at Jane, who shook her head, a deep sigh escaping her.The future looked bleak enough without her having to put up with her husband’s heavy drinking—for it was obvious that he had become a heavy drinker, and a heavy smoker.‘I wonder what the aristocratic Frenchman will think when he learns that you’re married.’ Don spoke derisively and it was all Jane could do to hold her temper.‘I’m dreading the meeting,’ was all she said for the moment, but presently she was adding, ‘I’ll be relieved to get the confession off my mind, though.’Don looked at her speculatively.‘He was kissing you,’ he mused, ‘and you were liking it.’She swallowed, her face pale but oddly composed.‘I’ve told you, I love him.’‘More than you loved me?’Impatience looked out of her eyes but was hidden from her voice.‘If you must know,’ she answered frankly, ‘yes, more than I loved you.Ours was a shallow thing, Don, and it will never change, no matter how long we live together.What I feel for Philippe is deep.deep within my heart.here.’ She was lost in a dream, with Philippe close and Don a million miles away.‘I’d give my life for him—willingly.’ Her eyes lifted and met those of her husband.‘Love, real love, is like that.But there could never be anything permanent between Philippe and me because, as I said, he’d never marry a divorcee, much as he loves me ’ She broke off abruptly, a hand stealing to her lips, her glance taking in the odd expression that had come to her husband’s face.‘He loves you? You gave me to understand that he didn’t.’She shook her head.‘It was never mentioned.’‘No,’ he agreed reflectively, ‘but I somehow got the impression that the affair was one-sided, that you had a crush on your handsome employer ’‘It’s not a crush,’ she interrupted angrily.‘I’d rather not talk about him, if you don’t mind!’Don downed the whole of the whisky as if it were nothing stronger than the lemonade his wife had been drinking.He lifted a finger to a waiter and ordered another whisky, a double.Jane said in despair,‘You’ll never be able to drive the car, Don.For goodness’ sake stop.It’s no good to you in quantities like that’‘I said I can take it Tell me some more about this Philippe.How do you know he’s in love with you?’‘I suppose,’ she answered thoughtfully after a long pause, ‘that I’m not really sure; I only thought I was, owing to the way he looked at me, and spoke, tenderly, gently, without the sort of cold superiority he’d adopted towards me at first.And his lovemaking ’‘Lovemaking? You swore there’d been nothing!’She looked at him coolly.‘There was nothing—intimate.I meant, the way he held me and kissed me.’ She stopped, reflecting that, had her husband not put in that untimely appearance, Philippe might have declared his love.At the time she felt sure he loved her.but now— Doubts had crept in unwanted; they were gnawing all the time.As before she sighed for what might have been but was admitting that, the circumstances being what they were, there was not the remotest chance of any future for her and Philippe.She was resigned anyway to going back to England and to the home which was still there, the home which she and Don had made together, in the days when they were happy, and optimistic regarding the future [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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