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.Which were mostly the parts about Jack the Ripper, but also included her guilt over what had befallen Martha Atwater and her complicated feelings regarding the dead girl whose suicide was at the heart of the whole sordid mess.They sat in silence for several moments after she concluded her story.Lee’s expression was thoughtful.She could almost see the wheels spinning away in his head as he mulled it all over.He seemed in no hurry at all to jump to conclusions or interrogate her to probe for holes in her story.He cleared his throat when he was ready to talk again.“So, I suppose the bottom line here is, do you think you can do what the devil wants?”Kayla fought to hold back tears.“So you believe me?”“I believe you.Absolutely.Every word.”She shook her head.“But…why? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.I know it’s a crazy story.I’m lucky there’s not a head doctor in hearing range.I’d be in a straightjacket for the rest of my life.”“A head doctor might diagnose you with schizophrenia and attribute it all to hallucinations or hearing voices.I had a schizo cousin, so I know a little about it.”“What happened to him?”“He died.Suicide.”Kayla frowned.“Well, shit.That’s depressing.Thanks, Lee.”He shrugged.“Doesn’t matter as it’s not really relevant.You’re not schizophrenic.I think you’re as in your right mind as anyone I know.And I’m positive you’ve told me nothing but the absolute truth.”“You still haven’t told me why you’re so sure of that.”“Because I’ve heard you lie and talk bullshit too many times.I know what it sounds like.This time I heard in your voice your total belief in what you’ve told me.And there’s the fact that it jibes with what I already knew.Yesterday my urge to get in touch with you was overwhelming.I couldn’t stop thinking about how off everything about my behavior toward you had been since the semester started.The freakiest thing was how I couldn’t connect on any level with how or why I’d felt that way.I thought there was something wrong with me.Something in my brain.And that scared the shit out of me.Your story fits the facts as I know them.It explains the memory issues and everything else.And the thing about the movie theater murders is all over local TV today.” He smiled grimly.“So, yeah.I believe you.One-hundred percent.”“Wow.” Kayla slouched down in her seat and stared up at the Corolla’s cloth-covered ceiling, where she spied an old cigarette burn in the fabric.She had an urge to push a finger through the hole.Instead she turned her head and looked at Lee.“Sorry, I’m just sort of blown away.I guess I never really expected you to believe me.When I tried to picture how this might go, I never made it past the point of telling you everything.I guess I just figured you’d call my crazy and tell me to fuck off.”“But that didn’t happen.So I’ll ask you again, do you think you can do it?”Kayla glanced up and poked a finger through the burn hole just to resolve the urge.It was kind of anticlimactic.She pulled her finger out and stared at the hole some more.“Who would do that? What’s the point? It’s just random, pointless destruction.Unless maybe a long time ago someone riding in the back was pissed at whoever used to own your car and did it out of spite.”“Sounds plausible.Now…stop avoiding the question.”Kayla sighed.“I don’t know.That’s the real answer, Lee.When it comes down to it, faced with a future as a total outcast if I don’t do it, I just fucking don’t know.I guess that makes me a bad person, right? A truly moral person would say hell no without having to think about it.”“I don’t know if that’s true.And, anyway, I don’t think that answer makes you a bad person.It just makes you human.Anyone in your situation would feel the same kind of conflict, I think.Now for a related question.Can you do it? Being totally honest with yourself--and bearing in mind that I will not judge you whatever your answer is--do you have it within yourself, somewhere, to kill another human being? An innocent human being?”Kayla didn’t say anything for a few moments.The question upset her on a fundamental level, primarily because she already knew what her answer--or, rather, her non-answer--was.She punched the back of the seat in front of her, venting some of her frustration.“The answer’s the same, Lee.I don’t know.I just fucking don’t know.”Lee didn’t respond immediately.Kayla curled her hands into tight, trembling fists.“I really am a bad person.”“You’re not.”She gave her head an emphatic shake.“You’re just saying that because I fucked you.That’s why you’re acting like this.You think maybe if you humor me long enough I’ll fuck you again.”“That’s not true.”His calm tone was the only thing that kept her from flying into an uncontrollable rage.He wasn’t lying.Or at least she detected no obvious signs of deception.She closed her eyes and counted slowly to ten, forcing herself to relax.She opened her eyes and looked at him again.“Fine.I believe you.That doesn’t mean I’m not a bad person.”“Would you feel better if I told you I might have a solution to your problem?”She squinted at him.“You better not be fucking with me.I mean it, Lee.I know I’m one to talk when it comes to fucking with people, but I am dead serious.Don’t tell me you might have a solution and just be messing with me.I’d have to kick your ass for that.”“I’m not messing with you.”“Okay.Fine.But I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure some way out of this shit since yesterday.And after just hearing all about it, you’ve already come up with an answer.How can that be?”“It’s only a possible solution, Kayla.And far from a perfect one.But based on what you’ve told me, I do think there’s a chance it could work.”“So let’s hear it.”She folded her arms and smirked at him, daring him to convince her.But her combative demeanor didn’t appear to faze him.“I know this guy.Grew up with him in Memphis.Brett Adams.He was a good friend for a long time, but he has a lot of emotional issues.Tried to kill himself last year.Couple of weeks ago I talked to him for the first time since then.”He fell silent and stared out the back window for a while.He had a faraway look in his eyes.Kayla guessed he was thinking about things from the past.Memories that weren’t happy ones.She already had an inkling where Lee was going with this, and it horrified her even as the most desperate part of her was suddenly alert and intrigued.She hated that some part of her felt that way, but she could no more help it than she could help breathing.She needed some reason to hope.Even if the reason itself was as dark as the devil’s own soul.Lee looked at her.“It was a long talk.More than an hour.Long story short, he hasn’t gotten any better.He sounded as down as he’s ever been.I told him he sounded like he was already dead.He said that was exactly how he felt and that he meant to make it happen for real before the end of the year.”“But that’s only a month away.”“Yeah.So anyway…after that, I called his mother.I was worried, you know, so I was thinking I’d try to alert someone close to him, let them know he’s in a dangerous place again.” A bit of that faraway aspect stole back into his gaze for a moment.“But I wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t know.I told her maybe she should think about having him put away somewhere for his own safety for a while.She started talking about insurance issues and got all worked up.That was the only time I heard any real emotion from her [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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