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.“See this? If I take you on, it'sgoing to touch you, spank you, position you.It's going to brush your hair,clean you up, hold the leather that falls across your body and makes you cryfor me.It's going to be what you kiss when I've finished whipping you; it's goingto be on you when you fall asleep beside me and still touching you when youwake up.You're going to want my fingers inside you, Sterling, a long timebefore I'm ready to give you that.And now, we're going to leave this and moveon.I'm thirsty, and I would like you to go and get me a glass of water, please.The water's in a jug in the fridge, there's a glass already out by the sinkbecause I'm a slob from time to time, and the kitchen is at the end of thehallway.”It wasn't as much of a relief to walk into the kitchen and get away fromOwen's intense scrutiny as Sterling might have expected.His mind was racingas he found the jug, poured water into the glass that was right where Owenhad said it would be, and put the jug back into the refrigerator.He wished hecould take a few minutes just to think, to see if it was possible to make somesense of what Owen had said.Instead, he returned to Owen and handed himthe glass, hesitated, then knelt down again in the same position he'd been inbefore.40Jane Davitt & Alexa SnowThat felt like relief.“Can I—say something?” he asked tentatively.“Yes.”Sterling's chest was tight.“I-I don't know if you—if anyone, but if it wasgoing to be anyone, it would be you—can touch me there without me flinching.Because I think it would take a long time, for me to—be able to do that.So ifthat's what makes or breaks this deal, then I don't know what to do.I can'tpromise that I'll never flinch.I'm—I'm willing to try to do anything you ask meto, but I can't promise that.” He searched Owen's face for some hint of what hewas thinking.“Don't make it into such an obstacle,” Owen said lightly.“A man capableof badgering me into taking him on is perfectly capable of persuading a fewtense muscles to relax.” He set his glass down untasted on a small, round tablebeside his chair, empty of everything but a book whose title Sterling couldn'tsee and a coaster Owen ignored.“You probably don't look at it much, but youhave a really nice ass, as it happens.It's kind of a shame; if it was covered inblemishes or flabby, I wouldn't be so interested in the idea of turning it thesame color your face was a few minutes ago.”“You'd like it better if it was unattractive?” Sterling managed to take histone from Owen's and found that doing so made him feel more relaxed.“Whydo I find that hard to believe?”“Because you're not stupid?” Owen laughed and shook his head.“No, Ilike it just way it is, and I'm glad to see that you're in good shape overall.Beinga sub isn't all about feeding me grapes as I lounge around looking stern, youknow; it can be physically demanding, and if you're in a permanentrelationship with a conscientious Dom, you'll find that your diet and exercisewill be monitored if you're not taking care of yourself.”Owen glanced at the glass beside him and then back at Sterling.“Even ifyou are being sensible, you might have a day in cuffs when every bite you eat ishand-fed to you, every sip of water taken from a glass held to your lips.It cango from being funny and messy to incredibly intense by the end of the session.”“I—” Sterling bit his lip, then continued on.“Is it okay for me to admit thatI like the sound of that?” Owen nodded.“I do.And I am.In good shape, I mean.I run pretty much every day—the other morning wasn't just about seeing you.Well, okay, it mostly was.I used to play baseball, seriously.Not just for fun, Imean.”He'd been hopeful about getting a scholarship to college for a few yearsthere, until he'd hurt his shoulder badly enough to shatter that dream.“'Used to'?” Owen asked.“What made you stop?”It wasn't easy to talk about it, because when he did it brought backmemories of the months in which he'd been deeply depressed by the realizationthat his plans for the future had been rendered impossible.It had been yearssince he'd had to discuss it at all.Bound and Determined41“I tore my rotator cuff,” he said, hoping that Owen would know what thatmeant so he wouldn't have to get into the details.“Pitching.And I couldn't dealwith the thought of surgery, so that was the end of my great baseball career.” Itcame out sounding more bitter than he'd intended it to.Owen didn't gush all over him with sympathy and platitudes, but Sterlinghadn't expected him to.Instead, he placed his hands on Sterling's rightshoulder and explored the hollow of bone and muscle with careful fingers.“That's something you'll need to mention to people in the future,” he saidabsently, his attention focused on what he was doing.“I can think of severalcommon bondage positions that would put too much stress on it.Let me knowif anything I ask you to do hurts.The only pain I want you to feel is the goodkind.”Owen's touch, even somewhat clinical as it was, made Sterling's bodyreact immediately; his cock twitched and started to harden.“It hasn't hurt for along time,” he said, trying not to let himself get too distracted.“I learned prettyquick what kind of things I have to avoid, so I just avoid them.As long as youdon't ask me to pitch a baseball, spike a volleyball, or swim competitively, I'mgood.”“I'll remember that.” Owen sat back as if Sterling's arousal—and Owenhad definitely noticed it; hell, Sterling was starting to think that Owen noticedif he blinked more than usual—had reminded him that he wasn't supposed tobe touching Sterling.Or had that ended when he'd melted down sospectacularly?“I haven't had the chance to ask you just what works for you when itcomes to BDSM,” Owen said.“It can vary so much for people… You've reactedpositively to a few suggestions, but I get the feeling that they weren't somethingyou'd considered before I brought them up.Have you read any porn, watchedany movies? Did anything get you hard just thinking about it or anything leaveyou cold?” He grinned as Sterling gave him a helpless look.“Poor Sterling; am Imaking you feel like we're back in class?”“Kind of,” he admitted.“Well.It sort of started when I accidentally—and itwas an accident, I swear!—Peeping Tommed—God, that's not a verb andthere's no way to make it one—on a couple of guys at a party.” Owen lifted aneyebrow, and Sterling clarified, “A regular party, not a BDSM party.Lastweekend at the club was the first time I went to anything official.If that wasofficial.Anyway, one of them was telling the other one to get on his knees andsuck him off—the one on his knees was my friend Alex, who brought me to theclub—and, well, it definitely turned me on.It's been the masturbatory fantasyof choice for weeks, actually.”He tried to think of other things he'd seen.“Um.Being tied up.Spanking.Maybe whipping too, although I don't think anything really violent would be upmy alley.I don't want scars.” Sterling offered Owen an apologetic smile.“WhichI know you said you wouldn't do anyway, but you asked, and I want to get an Aif even a tiny part of your brain is thinking about grading me.I don't know42Jane Davitt & Alexa Snowwhat else.Um, wax? 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