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.Admittedly it was an uneasy friendship, treated tentatively at first by Julie, and then with growing confidence as the weeks turned into months and Zack’s coolly concerned manner remained constant.They finally found a house to their liking about three miles from where Connie and Ben lived, and once the decorators had been in and they were actually able to move in Connie and Ben and the children became regular daytime visitors.To all intents and purposes the marriage was a real one to outsiders.Zack’s tender care was in evidence at all times, and only Mrs Humphries and the daily woman they had hired to help in the house knew of their separate sleeping arrangements.It was quite easy to make the baby an excuse for that, especially as Mrs Humphries was aware of Julie’s short stay in hospital.But Julie was dissatisfied, and she knew Zack wasn’t really happy.Not by word or deed did he show this, coming home from work to talk about the day’s events like any other husband, but occasionally she would look up and find him watching her, a deep hunger in his eyes, a hunger that he would quickly mask.If he was still seeing Teresa Barr, or any other woman for that matter, then she didn’t know when.All his days were spent at work, all his evenings at home, so if there was a woman in his life he didn’t see her very often.Towards the end of her eighth month of pregnancy she began to prepare the nursery.She had been too afraid to before this, not wanting to tempt fate.Mrs Humphries helped, enjoying it immensely, and the two of them had great fun picking out the wallpaper and curtains.Zack had declined helping her choose them, seeming to spend more and more time in his study in the evenings.‘Is the travelling too much for you?’ she finally asked him.‘Mm?’ He looked up abstractedly.Julie frowned at the deep lines etched beside his nose and mouth.They hadn’t been there a few months ago.‘You seem tired, withdrawn,’ she said carefully.‘I’m fine—really.’‘The travelling—’‘Is no bother,’ he dismissed, the evening newspaper still open in front of him—as it had been for the last half an hour.‘Then work—’‘No heavier than usual.’She bit her lip worriedly.‘Then what is it?’He looked at her with vague grey eyes.‘What’s what?’‘Zack, what’s wrong?’ She stood up, her body heavy in this last month of pregnancy, the thick woollen dress exactly matching the green of her eyes.‘You’ve been so quiet since Christmas.’It had been a lovely family gathering at Connie and Ben’s, with obscure uncles and aunts putting in an appearance too.Only Zack had remained removed from the family fun, and he had remained that way ever since.‘I’ve been busy at work—’‘You just said it was no heavier than usual.’He glared at her with an impatient frown.‘What is this, Julie, an inquisition?’She flinched at his scornful tone.‘I’m just concerned about you.’‘Why?’ he rasped.‘I just am!’ she snapped back.He shrugged, carefully folding the newspaper before putting it on the coffee-table.‘If you must know, I felt—guilty, about deceiving everyone.The whole family think we’re ecstatically happy together.’Julie turned away.‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly.‘So am I.I’m sorry I ever forced myself on you, sorry I—Sorry I—Oh God, I’m just sorry for everything!’ He stood up to storm out of the room.Julie hurried after him.‘Zack!’He turned halfway up the stairs, his expression remote.‘Yes?’She wetted her lips nervously.‘I—Where are you going?’‘Bed.’She blinked.‘But it’s only nine-thirty!’Zack sighed heavily.‘I’m not fit company tonight, Julie.Surely you can see that?’‘Is it something I’ve done?’ she persisted.‘No,’ he said ruefully.‘Something we haven’t done.In a long time.’Colour flooded her cheeks as his meaning became clear to her.‘I’m hardly in any condition for that,’ she derided to cover her embarrassment.‘I didn’t necessarily mean sex, Julie,’ he dismissed scathingly.‘Sometimes at night, I have this urge to hold you, to maybe feel our child moving inside you.Sometimes—sometimes it almost drives me crazy!’ He ran up the rest of the stairs, and his bedroom door slammed a few seconds later.Mrs Humphries appeared from the kitchen, a worried frown on her brow.‘Is there anything wrong? I thought I heard shouting.’‘Just Mr Reedman calling to me from upstairs,’ Julie dismissed with a tight smile.‘If you’re sure…?’‘Yes, I’m sure.’ She forced her smile to be brighter.‘Mr Reedman and I are having an early night tonight, Mrs Humphries, so you can lock up if you like.’She made her way slowly up the stairs, her movements slow and laboured.Once in her room she went through her usual nightly ritual of cleansing her face, her movements mechanical, her thoughts on other things.Poor Zack, he had only been voicing a hunger she often had herself, even more so as the time for the baby to be born neared.She often felt she needed his strength, just his calm presence to reassure her.And tonight was no exception.Knowing that Zack felt the same way only made her own longing worse.And why shouldn’t they sleep together, share a bed at least? They were married, and as she had already pointed out, she was in no condition for the physical side of their marriage.All was quiet in Zack’s room as she made her way across the passage; his room was opposite hers, and the door was firmly closed.Maybe he would be asleep, if he was she wouldn’t disturb him [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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