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.As I sit there looking at this marvel of nature, it occurs to me: this is as much sense as anything ever makes.I am intensely moved by a spider web.I’m happy about being happy about a spider web.After breakfast, I take a tour of my bungalow—the home theatre, the living room, the kitchen, dining room, hallway, and three spare bedrooms, and the master suite.I don’t bother with the room of mirrors.In a corner of my bedroom, there’s a desk, and in the drawers I find everything I need.Wallet, car keys, BlackBerry account information, bank statements (I am so fucking rich!), contracts…It turns out that I’m currently writing a screenplay with the actor Brad Morton.(He’s been in a whole slew of movies.His most famous was The Golftress about this guy who’s a mediocre professional golfer and undergoes a sex change operation so he can play on the Ladies’ PGA tour.It’s one of the funniest movies you’ll ever see.Morton’s garnered a couple Golden Globes, but no Oscar.I’m sure I hold this over his head at every opportunity).Morton’s phone number is in my BlackBerry, and I call him up, sounding very sickly and tired, like I’ve been throwing up all night.He offers to come over and make me some chicken soup, but I tell him not to bother.I’d probably just puke it up anyway.He asks if it’s a hangover, and I tell him “a vicious one.”I take a bath in my garden tub and test myself on my PIN number for my bank account, my social security number, the alarm code, my address, and date of birth.It’s always good to keep these things fresh in mind.I can see the Valley while splashing in the tub.After my bath, I choose an outfit for the day.As it turns out, I’m a big fan of black silk.My closet is full of it, so I go with black leather pants, a black silk short-sleeved button-up, and these interesting crocodile shoes which raise me an inch and a half.I set the alarm and lock up the house.It’s 10:30 in the morning.I drive the Hummer back to Exotic Car Rentals of Beverly Hills, turn it in, recover my deposit.Then I call a cab and have the driver take me to the Brick Room.Thank God my Porsche is still there.I lower the top and peel out onto Fairfax.Man, this car is a kick to drive.I like it even more than the Hummer.It’s so fast and low to the ground.Just for fun, I take it out on I-10 and scream toward the ocean.I have lunch at the bungalow and read through the latest draft of Brad’s and my screenplay.It’s called The Great Wide Open, and I have no idea what it’s about.The only thing that really happens in the first twenty pages is this guy named Bernard finds out that his newest wife is cheating on him with his son, and then he sort of has a mental meltdown in a bathroom.One minute, he’s washing his hands, the next, he’s beating up an electric hand dryer.It’s pretty funny.I’m a very good writer.Since I have several hours before the movie premiere, I drive down to Century City.Ravenous Games occupies a suite in this office building across the street from 20th Century Fox Studios.I ride the elevator to the fourth floor and walk down the drab, impersonal hallway.It doesn’t even have the name of his company on the door.Bo’s office is incredibly messy.There are no windows.The walls are covered with posters advertising videogames with names like Blood Bath XII—The Reckoning.Bo sits in front of a television playing a videogame.I’m sure he doesn’t get paid to do this.He’s so focused on the game, he doesn’t hear me walk in.“You’re telling me you get paid to play videogames?” I ask.Bo pauses the game and looks over his shoulder.“What’s up, Lance?” Fuck, I hate that.“Just thought I’d stop by.See where you work.”“You’re looking at it.”“What are you working on right there?”“Just testing a late phase of this first-person shooter.Look, I hate to be this way, but I am insanely busy.”“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”“Could we talk tonight? I was thinking of grilling a few steaks.”I lean against the doorframe.On the paused television screen, a samurai warrior is on his knees.Another samurai is swinging a huge sword at his head, which will undoubtedly roll when Bo resumes the game.“I won’t be here tonight,” I say.“I’m leaving.”“When?”“Right now.I came to tell you goodbye.”Bo turns the videogame off and stands.“Let’s go outside.”Bo’s office building is one of four in a small business park called the Quadrangle.In the courtyard between the buildings, there’s a manmade pond with a fountain in the middle.Swans sail through its green water [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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