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.The cold metal felt foreign and heavy and frightening nestled in my fingers.Sweat slicked my palms, making my grip more clumsy.A smile inched into Calvin's eyes."You wouldn't shoot me, Britt.""On your knees." Blinking hard to correct my reeling vision, I tried to focus on Calvin.He slanted left, then right.Or maybe it was the room spinning."No.We're not going through this charade." Calvin spoke with smooth authority."You don't know how to handle a gun, you said so yourself.Look-your thumb isn't clear of the hammer, which will pop back abruptly when you fire and injure your hand.You're nervous, and you're going to jerk the trigger and it will throw off your aim.The sound of the shot will startle you, and you'll drop the gun.Save us both the trouble and put the gun on the floor now.""I will shoot you.I swear I will.""This isn't Hollywood.It's not easy to hit a target, even from this distance.You'd be surprised how many people miss this shot.If you fire at me, it's over.Someone will get hurt.We can stop that from happening.Hand me the gun, and we can work this out.You love me and I love you.Remember that.""You killed three girls!"Calvin shook his head adamantly, his cheeks flushing."Do you really believe that, Britt? Do you think that little of me? We’ve known each other our whole lives.Do you really think I'm a cold-blooded murderer?""I don't know what I think! Why don't you explain it to me? What did those girls ever do to you? You had everything going for you.You're smart, good looking, athletic, rich, and you had a free ride to Stanford-"Calvin wagged his finger at me.I could see his frustration in the lines around his pinched mouth.His whole frame began to shake, and his face darkened again."I had nothing! Stanford rejected me.I never got in! You don't know what it's like to feel powerless, Britt.I had nothing.They had everything.Those girls-that was supposed to be me! That should have been me,” he echoed wretchedly."That's why you killed them? Because they had what you wanted?" I was horrified.Horrified and sickened."They were girls.Girls beat me, Britt.How could I live with that? My dad never would have let me hear the end of it.It was bad enough at home, how he'd turn everything into a competition between me and Korbie, and rig the rules in her favor.She could have sat on her butt and it would have been enough to beat me.My dad didn't expect anything from Korbie, because she's a girl.But he expected everything from me."There was no remorse in Calvin's voice.I wanted him to sound sorry and scared.I wanted him to admit that he was broken.But he didn't blame himself.He felt threatened by the girls he'd killed.Humiliated by them.I thought of the rope in the garage, dried with blood.Kimani Yowell had been strangled.Had Macie and Lauren been as well? He hadn't only killed them-he'd made it personal.He'd used his hands.It was never about them.It was about him."You killed Lauren while we were dating! Would you have killed me if I'd gotten into a better school?"His eyes snapped to mine."I never would have hurt you.""I trusted you, Cal! I believed you were the one.I wanted to protect you and make you happy.I hated how your dad treated you, and even when you took your anger at him out on me, I never blamed you.I thought I could make you better.I thought you were a good person who just needed to be loved!""You can still trust me,” he said, missing the point completely."I'll always be your Cal.""Are you even hearing yourself? People are going to find out about this.You could go to prison.Your dad-"Calvin's hands knotted up tightly again."Don't bring him into this.If you want to help, leave him out of it.""I don't think I can help you anymore!"His eyes flashed, but behind the quick anger, I saw deep sadness."I was never good enough.Not for him, not for you, especially not for him.He would have killed me, Britt.If I'd told him I didn't get into college, he would have killed me rather than deal with the humiliation.So I had to lie to everyone about Stanford and hide here at Idlewilde.I didn't want to, and I definitely didn't want to kill Lauren.I didn't plan her death.I was hiking one night and came across Shaun taking pictures of her.She was wearing a Cardinals ball cap and something in me snapped.She was wasted and that only made me angrier.Stanford had accepted a drunk, but not me.I wanted to take Stanford from her, but I couldn't.So when Shaun went to the toolshed, I took.her life.""oh, Cal,” I whispered, looking at him with pity and disgust.Shaun had come back from the shed to find Lauren dead; he panicked and hid her body in the toolbox.He'd taken her locket, knowing it was valuable, something Cal would have overlooked money had never been an issue for him.It was easy to see how Jude had mistaken Shaun for the killer [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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