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.It had not always been that way.Early in their marriage, soon after Mel left the Navy, Cindy had been proud of his ambitions.Later, when Mel was rapidly ascending the lower rungs of aviation management, she was happy when promotions, new appointments, came his way.As Mel’s stature grew, so did Cindy’s—especially socially, and in those days they had social engagements almost every evening.On behalf of them both, Cindy accepted invitations to cocktail parties, private dinners, opening nights, charity soirees … and if there were two the same night, Cindy was expert at judging which was more important, and turning down the other.That kind of socializing, getting to know prominent people, was important to a young man on the rise.Even Mel saw that.He went along with everything Cindy arranged, without complaining.The trouble was, Cindy now realized, she and Mel had two different long-term aims.Mel saw their social life as a means to fulfilling his professional ambitions, his career was the essential, the socializing a tool which eventually he would dispense with.Cindy, on the other hand, envisaged Mel’s career as a passport to an even greater—and higher level—social life.Looking back, it sometimes occurred to her that if they had understood each other’s point of view better in the beginning, they might have compromised.Unfortunately, they hadn’t.Their differences began around the time that Mel—in addition to being general manager of Lincoln International—was elected president of the Airport Operators Council.When Cindy learned that her husband’s activity and influence now extended to Washington, D.C., she had been overjoyed.His subsequent summons to the White House, the rapport with President Kennedy, led Cindy to assume they would plunge forthwith into Washington society.In roseate daydreams she saw herself strolling—and being photographed—with Jackie or Ethel or Joan, at Hyannis Port or on the White House lawn.It hadn’t happened; not any of it.Mel and Cindy had not become involved in Washington social life at all, although they could have done so quite easily.Instead, they began—at Mel’s insistence—declining some invitations.Mel reasoned that his professional reputation was now such that he no longer needed to worry about being “in” socially, a status he had never cared for, anyway.When she caught on to what was happening, Cindy exploded, and they had a first-class row.That was a mistake, too.Mel would sometimes respond to reason, but Cindy’s anger usually made him stand firm to the point of obstinacy.Their dispute raged for a week, Cindy becoming bitchier as it progressed, thus making things worse.Being bitchy was one of Cindy’s failings, and she knew it.Half the time she didn’t intend to be that way, but sometimes, faced with Mel’s indifference, her fiery temper got the better of her—as it had on the telephone tonight.After the week-long argument, which never really ended, their quarrels became more frequent; they also stopped trying to conceal them from the children, which was impossible, anyway.Once—to the shame of them both—Roberta announced that in future after school she would be going to a friend’s house first, “because when I stay home, I can’t do my homework while you’re fighting.”Eventually a pattern was established.Some evenings Mel accompanied Cindy to certain social events which he had agreed on in advance.Otherwise, he stayed longer hours at the airport and came home less frequently.Finding herself alone much more, Cindy concentrated on what Mel sneered at as her “junior league charities” and “silly social climbing.”Well, maybe at times, Cindy thought, it did look silly to Mel.But she didn’t have much else, and it so happened she enjoyed the social status competition—which was what it was, really.It was all very well for a man to criticize; men had plenty of activities to occupy their time.In Mel’s case there was his career, his airport, his responsibilities.What was Cindy supposed to do? Stay home all day and dust the house?Cindy had no illusions about herself so far as mental acuity went.She was no great intellect, and she knew that in lots of ways, mentally, she would never measure up to Mel.But then, that was nothing new.In their early years of marriage, Mel used to find her occasional mild stupidities amusing, though nowadays when he derided her—as he had taken to doing lately—he seemed to have forgotten that.Cindy was also realistic about her former career as an actress—she would never have made the grade to stardom, or have come close to it.It was true that, in the past, she sometimes implied that she might have done so if marriage had not ended her theatrical activity.But that was merely a form of self-defense, a need to remind others—including Mel—that she was an individual as well as being the airport manager’s wife.Within herself Cindy knew the truth—that as a professional actress she would almost certainly not have risen above bit parts.The involvement in social life, however—in the mise en scène of local society—was something Cindy could handle.It gave her a sense of identity and importance [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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