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.But in the meantime, there's one person here who has something of mine, and I'd like it back."At this, Gusty lifts his face and looks at me.There's a long yarn of sadness stretched between us.I wish I could pull it toward me to bring Gusty closer, but making the announcement took everything out of me, so I simply walk back to join the circle around Brian.A few other people make announcements, but I don't listen to them.Finally, everyone joins hands like we do every Friday afternoon, and we sing our school song.The lyrics are based on a poem by John Keats, and for the first time I really hear the words:The journey homeward to habitual self!A mad-pursuing of the fog-born elf,Whose flitting lantern, through rude nettle-briar,Cheats us into a swamp, into a fire.After Processing is over I look for Gusty, but I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Jacob Flax standing next to me."Hey, Kristi." He still seems mad at me, but not as mad as before."Hi, Jacob."The corners of his mouth are turned down.He looks like a textbook definition of the word forlorn.Suddenly I'm overcome with an impulse, and I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight.He is stiff at first and I can sense he's a little stunned, but after a second he wraps his arms around me, too.Now that I'm close to him, I can tell he's wearing cologne."You smell good," I tell him."Thanks," he says, but he steps away from me quickly."I haven't been a very good friend, have I?"His eyes widen."Are you kidding? You've been great!""Really?""You're like the only person who's always been honest with me!"I look into his eyes to make sure he isn't just saying this to make me feel better, but he seems perfectly sincere."You know what, Jacob? You're pretty much my best friend." I am surprised to hear myself say this, but I find it's really true.He smiles, but there's sadness in the way he ducks his head."So are you and Gusty an item or something?""Maybe," I say gently."I hope so."He wraps his arms around his middle."I guess I have to work on my detection skills.""You're not the only one." I walk out the front door into the cool autumn air, and Jacob follows.Now that I know he's gay, I feel so much more relaxed around him.I'm even comfortable enough to say: "For some reason I actually used to think that you thought about my boobs a lot.Can you believe that?"Jacob stops stock-still.His face turns chalky.His pale eyes fasten on me, and his mouth pops open in astonishment."What? Don't tell me that you actually did picture my boobs!""No! Of course not! I'm gay!" Suddenly he's running down the school steps so fast, it's a wonder he doesn't generate a sonic boom."Hey!" I grab hold of his arm and force him to slow down."Why are you running away?""I'm not!""Jacob, did you used to picture my naked boobies?" I can't hide my smirk."No!" Now he's breathing so hard that droplets of spit escape from between his lips."Obviously you are lying, Jacob."He tries to assume a deadpan expression, but he can't do it, so finally he gives up."You don't understand, Kristi! It's Felix Mathers's fault!""Felix? That weird dude?""When we walked to school together, anytime he saw you he'd say something disgusting to me about your boobs.He's obsessed!" Jacob looks so revolted that any second he might actually physically crawl out of his skin."Calm down, Jacob.I believe you.""He said so much stuff about you that it got into my head! Any time I saw you I'd remember his sick fantasies.It drove me crazy!""It's okay, Jacob.""You better stay away from Felix Mathers, Kristi.He is a very troubled boy.""I will, Jacob."He's so freaked out that it actually makes him look kind of manly, because he's staring hard and he's breathing in a really aggressive way."Why do you have to be so psychic?!" he demands of me.I shake my head, bewildered."I was starting to think I wasn't!""Really?""Well, yeah.I mean, come on.Reading minds? It's kind of kid stuff, isn't it?"He sees the sense in this, and nods agreement."Maybe you were responding to physical cues or something."That must be it.I was extrapolating from his body language."Like how you used to stare at my boobies all the time?" I say with an evil grin.His face twists."Gross, Kristi.""You did! But anyway, Jacob, it's not my business what you were thinking.""That's right!" I wait while Jacob pulls himself together.He rearranges his scarf and pats down his hair."That was very upsetting.""It's all over now, Jacob." And it really is.It's even kind of a relief to be more normal than I thought I was.It's chilly outside.I snuggle into the coat I made from an old Hudson Bay blanket, glad it still fits.Even though I miss the pink cotton-candy tree, I don't mind the changing season.Autumn is such a comfortable time of year, when drinking hot chocolate and reading books and huddling up with Minnie is all there is to do.And I love doing all those things."There's this guy at the gym I kind of like," Jacob tells me as we continue down the school steps."He looks at me a lot, too.I'm not sure if he's in high school, or maybe he goes to college.Maybe I'll get the courage up to talk to him.""Is he cute?" I bounce down the stairs beside him."He's totally hot.He's Hispanic, or Mexican.Anyway, I think I like the tall, dark, and handsome type even more than I like the Viking type." He pauses, his gaze fixed on something in the distance.I turn to look.Gusty is leaning against a narrow tree trunk, watching us.He seems to be waiting for me.Jacob smiles."I'll see you later.Call me." He walks down the sidewalk, hugging his canvas barn coat around himself against the sudden wind.Slowly I close the distance between Gusty and me.He tries to smooth his overgrown curls out of his eyes, but they pop right back to where they had been before."Hey," I tell him."Hi." He gives me a sad smile, his eyes on the red stripe of my coat, following it all the way to the ground.He starts walking, so I start walking, too.We go slowly [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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